Friday, 12 November 2010

Stag Do No. 2

There is no truth in the rumour that my inactivity this week has been due to the fact that during Stag Do No. 1 last Saturday I was stripped to shorts and t-shirt and clingfilmed to a parking bollard in Reading town centre.

I have in fact been ill. Off most of the week in fact. So, there is hardly a moment now to draw breath before launching into Stag Do No. 2 which begins essentially this evening with the arrival of my older brothers. I am under strict orders from the future Mrs Ches not to get ill again, so will most likely go out tomorrow in five layers of clothing, like some academic Michelin Man.

Meanwhile, the world turns. I'm feeling rather blogblocked at the moment. There is so much going on on the homefront. Fortunately, inspiration has just arrived in the form of a Roger Scruton book, kindly sent by Paulinus, The Uses of Pessimism and the Danger of False Hope. I'm very grateful for that and for the other expressions of good will sent in by kind readers.

I must relate one incident from last week's Stag Do. Before we sat down to dinner, I was informed that I had to go to the bottom of the garden (in the pitch dark) and recover the lambent lantern that could be seen in the distance:

Knowing that our host's sons had dug a system of First World War trenches at the bottom of the garden did not fill me with confidence. Then as I moved down the garden, out of the darkness came hooded figures to block my path and I was instantly locked in near-mortal combat, while dwarf cossacks, currently wintering in Reading, looked on:

Fortunately, the cause of justice prevailed and after a minute's battle and a quick roll in the mud, I managed to return with the lambent lantern in hand and get my breath back:

Happily, the lantern was placed on the dining table and illuminated the sumptuous feast that we then all enjoyed.

I understand this victory means I WILL be able to marry the princess, which is something of a relief, since explaining the contrary to the aforementioned princess might have proven a tad tricky!

More reports on Monday ... if I live of course.


Ttony said...

Just like New Moston on a Friday night really, except for the lambent lantern, the Cossacks and the Princess.

I expect the lads will have come down ready not to be seduced by the punts and the conversation in the pubs about "Oliver Goldsmith: last of the Georgians or First of the Romantics?" - or have they been swotting? Get them into Reading Centre on Saturday night ready to accost the local girls with their thoughts on an important textual crux in Grimmelhausen's edition of La Belle Dame Sans Merci, and they'll be in!

Paulinus said...

You're welcome. Hope you enjoy it.

GOR said...

Hmm… It’s Thursday and still no word from our host. Ominous…

Perhaps a search party should be dispatched?